Thursday, July 25, 2013

Precious Challenges

I currently have a snuggly, sweet-smelling 3 week old baby sleeping in my lap. I know I need to put her down and clean something, but who would want to do that?

I apologize for not having pictures up. I am taking them; I just haven't found the cord I need to load the pictures onto the computer. I wanted to at least post a brief update on how things have been going.

Today has been a remarkably peaceful day in the Wittman home. I was able to rock Evie to sleep in our glider (a gift from Uncle Bo and Aunt Candy) and read her a Psalm- 119:105-112. Then I prayed out loud for us, for her daddy, and our home. Then I read new portions of "Eloise a Paris" out loud- more for my own studying than for her entertainment, since she was snoozing.

I gave her a bath in her Tummy Tub. I'm still trying to figure out how to do that well, but together we managed. I kept the lights low, added some lavender oil to the bath water, and played Carla Bruni's new album in the background. By the time she was wrapped up in her Duckie hooded towel, I think we were both more relaxed.

Today I was actually able to think through some things. I haven't had the mind to be pensive in quite a while. Having some quiet time just to process life was an enormous blessing.

I realized that so far, some well-intended "words of wisdom" I've heard in the past seem to be untrue. I always found it frustrating to be warned as a married-with-no-kids couple to enjoy our freedom while we could, to enjoy being able to pick up and go any time and anywhere we wanted, to appreciate sleep in general, because once kids were on the scene, all that would disappear. In a sense, it is absolutely wise. I could kill for a date out with my husband, or a run through the Starbucks drive-thru. But I think those sage words warrant some serious qualifying.

My daughter is a joy, a gift, and an enormous blessing. Coming from the perspective of someone who has lost a pregnancy, perhaps it is easier for me to say that my current circumstances are not about a lack of freedom or a lack of sleep. Those are very small details in a much larger, beautiful picture. So far, in my new role as a mommy, I've found life to be very challenging. But is it any harder than living with infertility or the loss of a little one? I would rather struggle and strive and sweat through parenting than "enjoy my freedom" knowing that I cannot have (or to have lost) what the Bible clearly says is a very good thing: the privilege of parenting. All the times I've been cautioned to enjoy the benefits of not having kids, I honestly think it only served to stir up selfishness and a fear and dread of moving on to the next life stage. Instead, I'd encourage anyone to seek contentment in your own life, single, married, or whatever your present circumstances may be. But if possible, look forward to the precious challenges of parenting.

Of course, a day like today is not the norm around here. Yesterday was sort of the opposite, in fact. So I'm hoping to have more peace-filled days like today. I'm hoping and praying to start developing a healthy rhythm. More prayer, more Bible reading, more peace. And I'm looking forward to facing tomorrow's challenges with joy. After all, Joy is my daughter's middle name.

Natasha W.

1 comment:

  1. You have such a beautiful heart.

    ~Brittany (I've gotten too frustrated trying make comments hook up to my blogs, so I gave up. Hopefully you don't know too many Brittanys, haha.)