It has been so long since I've posted, it seems that anything I write now will appear abrupt and bizarre. I was just looking at my profile info, and I am amazed at how much I (mostly my habits and activities) have changed since I wrote about God in my waiting. But there is one big change which seems to be dictating all the other changes at the moment. :)
We are pregnant again!
Although it is my second pregnancy, and I cannot forget that I will someday be reunited with an unknown precious little one, I still regard this largely as my first-time-mom pregnancy. Tomorrow, I will be twenty (that's right, 2-0!!!) weeks pregnant, praise God! And so much of this has been all new territory for me.
From weeks 8 through 14, nausea basically ruled my every waking hour. Therefore, I have become a major proponent of spare Walmart sacks, all things citrus, and sparkling waters. It has gradually (very, very gradually) calmed down, so that at twenty weeks, I still struggle to eat meat or find my appetite, and have a wave of sickness about once a day. But what an improvement!
For the past ten or so weeks, I have struggled greatly with not only physical difficulties, but emotional pitfalls as well. I continuously ached to feel "normal" again- in as far as I could continue being pregnant. However, I must say that it is rather thrilling to come out of that trial, be it ever so gradually. I cannot tell you how thankful I am today- how joyful I am, to be feeling as human and as "Natasha" as I do now. And looking back on what I've been through, I feel quite strong.
Another blessing that's come out of such a difficult time is getting to see Micah's compassion toward me. On top of rushing to the store (or stores) to find food for us, giving me carte blanche on all food choices, cleaning up after us both when I was too sick or tired to move, missing out on church activities, and listening peacefully to my many freak-out moments over weird symptoms, there is one moment in particular that stole my heart all over again. I was puking my guts out in our single cab pickup after we had set out for a sunny day in the park. Micah simply kept saying, "I'm so sorry" over and over again in the sweetest voice while trying to help me in any way he could. I can't explain it, but his compassion totally made my day. I think that's when I realized that he is going to be great in the delivery room.
I'm planning to update very soon with photos and more recent news of our precious little one, Evelyn Grace. I want to cherish every step of this new adventure and celebrate the very real life of our in-utero daughter- whom I cannot wait to hold and comfort and befriend and share with friends and family.