Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Thoughts on a Tuesday Morning

Hey there.

This morning, the sin of omission weighs heavily.  I recall so many instances in my life when I've suffered pain in relationships because someone else failed to respond, failed to acknowledge, failed to express any desire to know or appreciate me at all. Reaching out to only be ignored is exceedingly painful.

It makes me wonder, Why exalt yourself higher and higher? Do you find friends up there? Truly? Are you in better company to isolate yourself? 

 It is a funny thing, this pain of nothingness. This pain of absence. But it is potent. 

I'm so thankful that I have a Father to turn to, to say, "God, this hurts," and can know that I find myself wrapped up in His comforting arms. 

God doesn't neglect us. He doesn't fail us. He acknowledges us and says, "I chose you. You are interesting, you are beautiful, you are perfectly, exactly what I want." 

The truth is, people do not complete us. They may offer some form of satisfaction, however temporary and delicate that may be, but it is never enough. 

And then we ask, Where is the justice? Why do people get to do these things? But the justice is on the cross. 

Which reminds me that I have surely done the exact same things to people in the past. Perhaps I am doing them now. 

I encourage you to look around in your life and seek out those you might be neglecting. Are you spending your time making yourself more enviable to them? Or are you just not paying any attention? Or are you investing your time in being a sincere, loving, encouragement?

Natasha W.


  1. Sweet Natasha, I could hug you. I can readily sympathize with that hurt feeling of neglect. But it is actually a different issue altogether that causes me to relate the most to this entry. When you shared your wrestle with supposing maybe it was better to isolate onesself, it reminded me of my reaction to gift giving. Have you ever received a gift you didn't exactly care for? I used to have a mechanism in my mind that switched off the opinion part of my brain when I opened gifts, and went on autopilot and automatically "liked" whatever I was given. I rustled up everything I could to make myself like a particular gift, because I wanted to like it. But then one day I couldn't do it. I just didn't like it. And it is very painful to be the one on the giving end of the situation, to invest thought and care into the selection of a gift, to infuse it with all this love, and then have it less than eagerly received. It feels like the love is less than eagerly received, even when that isn't the case.

    In bitter cynism I thought maybe it was better not to give things to people. But then I decided it was worth to risk of being wrong about something, worth the risk of rejection, to just live and let God take all the hurt and make something beautiful of it. Life is too short to not take risks, and if my gifts or my very self are rejected, then it is an opportunity to share in the sufferings of the One who knows rejection in a way I never will.

    So go ahead and love, my lovable, lovely Natasha! He's big enough to hold all the hurt, and even use it to make your love a sweeter, purer, more precious thing than it would be otherwise. The world would say don't be a doormat, but I say go be that doormat with a smile! Turn the other cheek. Let Him fill you with so much love that it has to spill out on everyone you bump up against!


  2. P.S. This is the same Brittany from LaDamedeShallot on xanga and cookiedoughisrawfood on wordpress. I decided to comment from my previously private blog this time.